Embracing the Present

Embracing the Present: Finding Peace and Purpose in Life’s Uncertainty

I’ve always been a planner, and in many ways, I still am. Preparing for every eventuality has been my way of feeling in control, especially when life feels unpredictable. Planning has often served as a coping mechanism, a way to manage the uncertainty we all face. Yet, I’ve come to realise that despite my best efforts, true control is an illusion — something none of us truly have.

My husband’s health condition has taught me this lesson in a profound way. Our plans frequently change at the last minute, and in the past, I used to take these disruptions personally. I would silently grieve the loss of my plans, feeling the weight of unfairness. But through experience, I’ve learned that the only thing that truly matters is this moment, right now.

Time is a peculiar thing. When we feel relaxed, safe, and secure, it seems like we have all the time in the world. But when life is chaotic or stressful, time feels like it slips away faster than we can hold onto it. And when time is taken from us permanently, it becomes the one thing we yearn for the most. My work in bereavement constantly reminds me of the preciousness of time.

I’ve never been one for long-term life plans—five-year plans, ten-year plans. I’ve never set timelines for acquiring a house, marriage, children, degrees, or travel. But I know that many people do, and while planning can be motivating, it can also lead to a sense of entitlement or disappointment when life doesn’t go as expected. Sometimes, circumstances beyond our control force us to change our plans, leaving us feeling lost or frustrated.

But there is another way. You don’t have to abandon your dreams or aspirations. The further out we plan, the more likely it is that we’ll need to adjust those plans—or even let them go entirely. After all, how can any of us predict where we’ll be in five years? Instead, I’ve found peace by focusing on the present and aligning my actions with my core values.

Bring yourself back to the present moment. Appreciate each day for what it is, and express gratitude for what you have. Ask yourself, “What can I do today to move closer to my dream?” Learn to loosen the rigid timeframes you may have set for yourself and adapt to the inevitable twists and turns that life will throw your way.

For me, navigating life’s uncertainties has become about living according to my values rather than chasing material achievements. I ask myself, “Was I kind today? Did I help someone? If it all ended tomorrow, would my children be proud of me? Did I love those nearest to me as deeply as I could?” In the end, the most precious gift we can offer anyone is our time. This is what practicing mindfulness means to me. Maybe some of these tips will also help you.

Mindfulness Tips:

1. Practice Gratitude Daily: Take a few moments each day to reflect on what you’re thankful for. It helps anchor you in the present and fosters a positive mindset. I usually do this at night before I go to bed.
2. Focus on Your Values: Instead of fixating on long-term plans, concentrate on living according to your core values. Ask yourself how you can embody those values each day. Find your own questions to ask yourself that mean something to you.
3. Be Adaptable: Life is full of surprises. Embrace change and be willing to adjust your plans as needed without losing sight of what truly matters to you. Accepting this as normal life is an important idea, which is often overlooked.
4. Mindful Breathing: When stress hits, take a few deep breaths. It’s a simple way to centre yourself and regain focus on the here and now. I also find box breathing helpful, and easy to remember when I need to actively calm myself.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of planning and the unpredictability of life, take a step back. Reflect on your values, practice mindfulness, and give yourself permission to live fully in the present. Remember, the most valuable gift you can give—to yourself and others—is your time. Let’s embrace today, one mindful moment at a time. Till next time.